If you lack confidence and it’s stopping you from joining in and living life as fully as you want and you’d like to learn how to get more confidence, here’s a 10 step guide:
1. Understanding your Comfort Zone.
Your comfort zone is a psychological space where the things you do feel safe and familiar.
At the edge of your comfort zone, is your learning zone. This is where some of the things you’d like to do feel more uncomfortable and cause you to feel uneasy and edgy.
The far side of your learning zone meets the panic zone, where the things you’d like to do feel very scary and make your heart beat faster and your breath becomes uneven as your brain releases adrenaline.
In the Panic Zone you’ll want to run away or you’ll freeze and be unable to think/act properly.
2. Staying in your Comfort Zone:
If you constantly stay in your comfort zone because you're afraid of the panic zone you can’t have new and exciting experiences, life becomes dull uninteresting and boring.
This will be made worse by comparing yourself to others on social media or on TV where it appears that everyone else is having fun and excitement.
Over time, this will shrink your comfort zone reduce your confidence and it will become more difficult to access the learning zone.
3. The Learning zone.
This is at the edge of the comfort zone and before the Panic Zone.
This is where you grow confidence by taking risks and trying new things.
The Learning Zone can be exciting, challenging and fun.
4. The Edge of your Comfort Zone and the Learning zone.
If you lack confidence or you’ve become anxious and you’re afraid of doing anything outside of your comfort zone, you’re missing out.
Nudging gently at the edge of your comfort zone where it meets your learning zone is where the magic happens and your confidence can grow and flourish.
Start by taking very small steps doing something that you know is safe but feels very slightly unfamiliar and uncomfortable. Then keep repeating it until it feels familiar and less uncomfortable, then you’re starting to become more adaptable.
Reassure yourself throughout the task that you’re safe and accept that the uncomfortable feelings are part of the journey to success.
Write down some memories of things you've done in the past which felt scary before you did them but you did them anyway (ie going to the doctors, taking a test, going somewhere new).
Deep breaths in and long slow breaths out will slow your heart rate and make you feel more comfortable and in control.
Keep repeating the task until it feels comfortable, then find another very small challenge that you know is safe and keep repeating it until this one feels familiar.
5. Neuroplasticity.
Every time you gently stretch the edge of your comfort zone and lean into your learning zone you make the unfamiliar/uncomfortable become more familiar and comfortable and you become more resilient and confident.
Doing something differently or new stimulates neuroplasticity and means you’re entering a growth mindset, changing your habits and enhancing your creativity.
6. Growing Success.
Every time you overcome a challenge you’re expanding your comfort zone and your learning zone.
You’re also gradually building up a body of evidence in your unconscious mind that demonstrates that you have the ability to be successful.
The more you recognise and acknowledge your success and achievements the easier it becomes to set yourself new goals with greater ease.
7. Avoid the Panic Zone.
As your confidence grows by doing the small things you’ll be ready to face bigger challenges.
Take your time and break your goals down into small chunks and gradually build momentum.
If you set your goals too big you risk pushing through your learning zone and going straight into the Panic Zone.
8. You don’t need to be Perfect.
If you try something and you can’t complete the task yet, or you hit the panic zone, try again.
Break the task down into a smaller chunks but keep trying.
If you tried to do something outside your comfort zone you’ve succeeded whether you fully completed the task or not. You were brave and you can use the courage to try again.
9. Celebrate.
Acknowledge all of your achievements however small.
10. Reflect.
Look back and review what you’ve learned from the experience.
Give yourself a pat on the back for how brave you’ve been to try.
For your next challenge, remember that you already have these qualities and resources and can use them again to keep creating more possibilities one small step at a time.
Success builds confidence.
Learn how I can support you and help you build more confidence here:
