New Year can feel like a good opportunity to reflect on the past and set new intentions but without challenging unconscious self-sabotage we can more often than not set ourselves up for failure.
So this month I’m offering some hot tips to motivate you, help you to set realistic goals and offer you some tools to make your goals more achievable.
You’ll need to set aside some quiet time, possibly up to an hour and have a pen and notebook/paper ready and perhaps a nice cup of tea!
It’s important to do this exercise using pen and paper because evidence shows that people who write rather than think or type their thoughts have better mental clarity and can gain greater self-awareness. Writing means our brain becomes more creative and more focused.
Begin by asking yourself the following question, “who or what are the most important people and things in my life’? Write down a thorough list of everything and everyone you can think of.
Re-write your list in order of priority with the most important at the top. This exercise can take quite a lot of time. If you get stuck, ask yourself the question “if I could have this but not that - which would I choose”.
Once you have your list in order, write down next to each item why it’s important to you.
Look back at your list, is there a theme emerging of what and why some things are important for you? Note it down.
As you look back at your list, are there any unconscious “rules” you feel you “should” follow - beliefs that you may have learned from the past or lessons that have been taught to you by other people and have become unconscious expectations? If this is the case, consider if these rules are still relevant or it’s time to let go of doing certain things to please others?
Create your list of New Year Intentions and goals, the things you’d like to achieve or habits you’d like to change.
Compare your list of intentions and goals with your list of people and things that are most important to you. Are the changes you want to make congruent with what is important to you?
Write down what your life might look like in 6 weeks if you make the changes.
Write down what your life might look like in 6 months if you make the changes.
Write down what your life might look like in 6 years if you make the changes.
If this all looks and feels positive, write down the changes you could start making to achieve your 6 months goal.
Break these changes down and write what realistic changes you could start making to achieve your 6 weeks goal.
Write down what changes you would need to make in the next 3 weeks that will keep you on target for your 6 weeks goal.
Break these changes down again to what you would need to be doing in the next week so you can meet your 3 week goal.
Write down what you’d need to do daily that will mean you can reach your weekly goal. Make sure that the daily goals are small and realistic. Remember, there’s only one way to eat an elephant - that’s one bite at a time.
Now think again about what motivates you to create the change in your life.
Find a motivational phrase, a picture, some music, something that you can put on your phone, computer, walls, mirrors, cupboards etc that keeps reminding you of what you’re going to achieve and why.
If you want to make changes to your thoughts, feelings and behaviour but you’re not able to, I’d be happy to have a conversation with you to explore how I may be able to support you. Contact me at www.laurieharvey.co.uk
Good luck and all the very best for 2024.
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